650 days

Singapore, 11 June 08

Today is exactly 650 days since we met. 650 days since he showed up in his plain white t shirt and jeans bringing a stalk of white rose especially for me.

I still vividly remember that day. I was so overjoyed knowing that he (finally) comes to meet me. I can still clearly recall how fast my heart beat when I was on the bus to meet him. I could he still clearly hear his voice over the phone telling me, “I am here, in Singapore.” How anxious I was of the way I look. How I tried so hard to hide my tummy in that black top that wear. How many times I kept turning to the mirror to make sure I look good for him. I still remember me going into a public toilet just to spray some perfume so I would smell nice for him. Never in my life was I that ecstatic, but at the same time vexed.

I was so restless that I went to buy newspaper, so I will not look so anxious before him. So that I have something to distract me from feeling so stressed.

650 days since the day that we took our first walk…just the two of us… It was so fresh in my mind how he tried to walk as close to me as possible and kept looking down at my hands…wanting to hold them...but yet hesitant to do so.

650 days ago, it was the first time I heard someone say, “Aku sayang kamu, Swanie.” I can still felt the wind that brush through my body that night. The joy, confusion, excitement, fear that ran through my mind...” He loves me”... I thought. Yet, I did not know what to say. I did not know what to do. I have waited for so long for this moment to happen, for him to say those words…but… the world stood silence then. It stops for that moment. Our eyes met. I smiled.

Now, 650 days since that moment. He is still that someone. Someone who always stand by me. Someone who always love me. Someone who never gave up on me. He is my best friend, my brother, my lover.

I love you Ro. I know I love you. I was confused then, but now I know. I know I love you with my very breath. I love you with my very soul.

With the past behind us, the future before us… I want to make our love works. I want to be with you.

Lots of kiss and love,

Swanie