A tribute to my family

Like everyone else i grew up in a 'not-so-perfect' family.
i grew up to be someone who is very closed-up, insecure, and timid.
But i thank God that He never let me stay the same. He opened my mind and bring me to His family. i met people and build meaningful relationships. i was changed. i learnt to open up, i learn to put my identity in Christ. but all along, little did i know that deep down, i have not forgave my family yet. and i am still angry at God for putting me in that family.
Recently, something happened that coz me to aske God the question again, "Lord, why did you put me in this family?" He kept quiet...until before i left again for Sydney, i found the notebook where i used to write down all the sermons shared and also the things that God has put in my heart.
then, i read my own writing, it says, "Yes, my family would be attack by the devil, Yes, my family would not be perfect. BUT God knows that Swanie would do a Good Job!"

Thank You, Lord for putting me in my family. Thank You for believing in me.

Papi, Mami, makasih dah besarin Swanie. Makasih buat semua air mata, keringat, bahkan darah yang kalian curahkan buat anih. Maapin anih kalo anih sering lupa, kadang ga sopan ama kalian. tapi swanie tau, kalian saayaang swanie, kalian mau swanie bahagia. swan bersyukur buat orang tua seperti mami dan papi. I LOVE you both. i am gonna make you proud.

Ishak, makasih buat jadi pillar buat cicimu ini. you are always there whenever i needed you. Kadang aku suka mikir, kamu lebih dewasa...lebih wise...lebih eloquent. i Thank God for you. i Love you and miss you.

Thank you, Singapore...

Coming back to Singapore after having been away for only merely 3 months brought back so many memories. Though i was not born here, i spent most of my growing up period in this land.
i realise how much i missed singapore.

This place was where i found my God, my most dearest friends, my dreams and my meaning in life. but Singapore was also the place that i found my deepest valley of death, my failures and my 'most' lowest moments of my life.

So yesterday, sitting at a kopitiam near my old HDB block reminds me of all the struggles and the happy moments that i went through. the good times, the bad times. the loveable me and the resentful me. the 'fat and ugly' me and the 'fit and beautiful' me. the gulible me and the matured me. and so on... So much had happened to me in this place.

i must say i owe Singapore ALOT. :)


Singapore, i thank God for giving me the wonderful 9 years back with you. you are and will always be in my heart. You are a place that i call HOME. :)